Why Do Children Lie?

posted by Karen Quinn, The Testing Mom - May 23rd, 2013

Today we’re going to talk about why children lie and what you can do about it. This subject really interests me because I think many parents are in denial about the fact that their kids lie.

I say this because I recently got a phone call from a friend of mine who’s a baby sitter. She had gotten a call from the mother of the child that she took care of. Apparently the boy, who was about six years old, was in the midst of getting into trouble for something and to change the subject, or maybe just to take the attention away from himself, he came up with this fantastical lie. He told his mother that his babysitter would take him out and leave him outside stores to wait for her while she went inside and shopped. This took place in New York City.

I know that this could not be true because this babysitter used to take care of my own kids and she was so responsible. The mother called the babysitter and she was very upset. She accused her of leaving a six year old alone on the streets of New York while she went shopping. When the babysitter suggested that maybe the child was lying, the mother was indignant. “My son doesn’t lie,” she said. I know and you know that the child was lying to get out of trouble but the mother had such an overwhelming desire to believe that her child was honest that she refused to even entertain that he might not be telling the truth.

I think as parents it’s important for us to see our kids for who they are – the good and the bad and everything in between. The truth is, I’ll admit it, my kids used to lie all the time. I know this because they were very bad liars and I used to catch them. I’d like to know why did they lie and what might I have done differently to make them more honest. So we are going to explore, though a series of blog posts, why children lie, exactly what you can do to raise more honest children, and how to deal with your children when they lie! Stay tuned for more posts on this topic.